As a Model…
I have to admit: I’m not a people-person.
I mostly find it difficult to step out of my comfort-zone of coyness with complete strangers or with people that I don’t interact with on a regular basis.
[I mean, I wasn't exactly that person who knew my entire high school.]
Even when it comes to photography (the single hobby that I’ve ever been enthusiastic and consistent enough about to actually call a hobby), it’s hard for me to work up to that certain level of confidence in order to guide my human subjects that I haven’t seen in a long time or even ever met.
Photographing my five models late-last year was a real challenge; now that I think about it, they probably found modeling for me challenging on their part, too.
Most of them had never done any modeling prior to their shoots with me, and given these circumstances, I, as the photographer, was relied upon to keep the shoot flowing in a fresh and fun manner.
However, I feel like these expectations of me from both my models and myself were not met.
It was my first time doing something that even came close to “professional” status, but (mentally) it didn’t exactly go as well as I had hoped.
It’s one thing to be ecstatic prior to a shoot and another to stay ecstatic throughout the actual shoot; even though I spent so much time looking at other peoples’ work for inspiration, the ideas kind of just dissipated into nothing when I was put on the spot. I felt all creativity and confidence draining from me with each passing minute.
Honestly, when it came to working with human subjects (combined with being in a real studio for the first time), I had no idea what I was doing, and I seriously lacked the ability to guide my models.
In exchange for allowing me and Chloe use his studio, there was one condition that John Mootz proposed as a “trade” – and that was for us to model for him.
I was never opposed to this idea – in fact, I remember thinking, “Sweet! Not only will I get awesome photos of myself for once, I will get to see what it’s like to be in the model’s shoes.”
Fast-forward two weeks and there I am, back in John’s studio, prepping to be his subject.
After more than an hour of makeup by Evie Brown and styling by Teresa Flowers, I was finally standing (awkwardly…) in front of John’s camera.
Soon enough, he started snapping away and I was amazed at the level of enthusiasm that he kept.
Despite my expectations, he wasn’t uptight or bossy – he was the same ol’ fun/funny John, with the addition of the important goal to gain some great photos for his portfolio efficiently.
And even though I make an awkward model, he was still very communicative about what he wanted me to do and wasn’t at all afraid to voice his opinion.
He also used the technique of creative imagery to invoke certain emotions in me, which I was particularly fond of.
I’m just so glad I got to experience this – to experience what it’s like to model for a professional photographer who knows what he’s doing and who knows what he wants out of a shoot.
I know it’s bad to compare yourself to others (and I probably have no right comparing myself to a professional), but in combination with my personality, I really suck and will probably never make a very good portrait photographer [not trying to be a downer here - just being realistic...lol...(telling myself that I really suck is actually a disguise of encouragement to myself to learn to step out of my box and just do it 
)]
Lastly, I am going to go out on the vain-limb here and say that I look freakin’ hot!! Thanks to John, Teresa, and Evie
Check out my favorite photos from the shoot below!
*All photos credit John Mootz*
P.S. Happy Birthday, Dad!!!!!!!
I have to agree with your last comment: you do look hot! Also, I am really glad to see you writing, albeit possibly too much, but I love seeing your personality and that’s what we get from your writing.
ow! ow! you look great!
Anytime you are pushing your creative limits, like your first shoot in the studio last month, is very demanding (mentally) and exhausting (physically). I was surprised that you and Chloe lasted for 6 (?) hours…I must be getting old.
I think the experience you gained from being a model will help make you a better photographer. I took a week long photo workshop about 12 years ago from a very well-know photographer and was very upset when I found out that we have to photograph each other for the first 2 or 3 days. Photographing and being photographed by my co-students was probably one of the best learning experiences ever. I can still recall standing there waiting for my picture to taken by my co-students; they’re standing there not saying anything and all I could think of “is it me”, “am I doing something wrong”, etc. But then again, I never looked as good as you…lol.
You wrote from the heart and it shows. You’re a great photographer and a beautiful model. My favorite part of your post…” I look freakin’ hot!!” I just what to know what the BF said.
cool
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